Social Media Ineptitude – A Writer’s Challenge

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Social Media Ineptitude – By Lorraine Johnston

Am I a Twit with Twitter? I haven’t quite decided as yet! I haven’t even determined whether I ‘m absolutely fine mentally, psychologically and intellectually speaking, and it’s just that the whole world has gone, quite frankly, a bit fruit-loopy!

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I’m a 47 year old woman. I’ve achieved many things in my lifetime thus far:

  • I’m a Mum to a healthy, happy, 6ft 3in, 20 year old man-child nursing student.
  • I’ve successfully put a staple entirely into my finger whilst replenishing said stapler.

Stapled

  • I can rustle up a meal the size of which, could possibly feed a small Peruvian Village from just the debris of contents of my fridge and cupboards with only a few minutes notice!
  • I’ve had a ‘grumpy old woman’ rant at a large chain clothing store, with a long queue at my back, asking the cashier to void my sale and do it again, only this time, omitting to put a large ‘X’ where I have to sign my name. You know? The bit that says ‘SIGNATURE’ followed by a flat line? Being of above average weight, I will be damned if I’m going to sign my name ‘XL Johnston!’
  • I’ve written a children’s book and become a freelance writer and tutor to a creative writing group: and all of this on a whim and on the back of being diagnosed with a pesky disease. Not bad for a Health and safety Consultant!
  • I’ve got lots of good friends. Not bad for a Health and safety Consultant! (Not as bad as being the Tax man or Traffic Warden/Meter Maid!)
  • I’ve managed to travel, as a peripatetic H&S Trainer from one end of the country to another, through airport security, in proud possession of a ‘Medi-Bum’ for the purpose of delivering a training course on ‘The safe use of rectal diazepam for the management of epilepsy.’ The embarrassment is unparalleled. You don’t often put yourself voluntarily into a situation where small children are staring and asking their parents “Why has that lady got a plastic bottom in her suitcase?”
  • Oh, and I nearly forgot. I’ve been suspended from Twitter!

Now, I have to tell you that I thought that I was mediocre to good at all things electrical (I don’t quite need a 7 year old child to programme my new TV! Yet…) and thought that I was adequate at social media type thingies. But no, apparently not.

What happened? Well, I’m not quite sure actually. I opened up a Twitter account when my book was released. Then I forgot all about it. When nagged by my other ‘writery friends’ on the many benefits from having a Twitter account, and ‘Tweeting’ about every single daily movement and update, I gave in, shrugged my shoulders and tried to log on and remember my password! Lo and behold, I managed to log on almost straight away. There is was, my very own Twitter account. Sitting there waiting to be used. So ‘use it’ I did! I Tweeted about my book and the up and coming large book festival I was attending in Baton Rouge. Everyone would surely be interested in that? And, it is a book starring the only Tartan Alligator in the World! Rejoice my book ‘Later Tartan Gator!’ I could almost hear the metaphorical drum roll.

Having ‘Tweeted’ the same ‘Tweet’ to several (36 to be exact) people (some of which may have been quite high profile with a New Orleans link, like Brad Pitt for instance!) I logged off and gave a satisfactory sigh.

The next morning, I noticed that someone had responded to my Tweet and was enquiring about ordering some books for their ‘Everything New Orleans’ boutique! Fabulous! My friends were right! This Twitter malarkey obviously worked!

I contacted the boutique, put them in touch with my publisher and an order was made. Result!

I have to confess to having left it a few days before I logged on again and when I tried, I was met with this!

Twitter!

I could not believe it! I’d been suspended from Twitter!!! Well, who needs them anyway? (They are a ‘them’ aren’t they?)

I feel I have a ‘Social Media Ineptitude’. I also feel like it really doesn’t matter two hoots. I’m quite proud of the fact actually. One thing off of the ‘Bucket List.’


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Lorraine Johnston is from Glasgow, Scotland. She was a children’s nanny for thirteen years and spent many hours making up stories for them using her vivid imagination. This was always met with giggles and laughter. She worked for a New Orleans family, and through them, was introduced to The Crescent City. After many years and many visits, she considers New Orleans to be her home away from home. Lorraine started writing in October 2011 and quickly discovered how much she enjoyed creating children’s stories. She was passionate about writing a book set in New Orleans, while adding a little Scottish flavor to her story. Later Tartan Gator is her first children’s book, but it certainly won’t be her last!

Website – www.LaterTartanGator.com

Biog – best way to introduce myself is to let people hear the podcast which explains ‘the story behind the story.’ http://www.underthetartansky.scot/podcast-episodes/2015/7/27/utts-006-later-tartan-gator-a-new-orleans-tale
The TV interview (Where my mouth was so dry through stage fright that you’d have thought I’d licked an entire carpet! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWmIzfR7qPM&app=desktop
The Promo video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KA69cH8dN4&app=desktop
The non profit that I donate to with every sale of each copy of LTG – http://www.stthomaschc.org/

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